Brain Dump

Aug. 14th, 2009 09:51 am
holly_evolving: (Bandana Girl)
So what would YOU put on a T shirt?

http://www.cafepress.com/squiggly

I've been borrowing Jay's car for the past couple of days while he carpools with a coworker who lives in our complex. I had to get my brakes done: front & rear brakes & rotors, and rear calipers. And yet, it's the cheapest brake job I've ever had done. I question the honesty of north Jersey mechanics.

So, I've been reading www.crazyauntpurl.com lately, and beyond making me want to learn to knit, it's made me want to figure out how I became such an angry person. I carry it around with me and it gets in the way sometimes. And of course it's not just one event, it's lots of them, and bad timing, and people hurting my feelings and breaking my trust. But one thing among them is standing out at the moment, so I thought I might get it out.

Marc H. )

BUT! I'm taking Heather to the Faire tomorrow! So you know that means pictures. AND I caught up on paying down my student loan this morning.



This song always makes me nostalgic for the nomad days:

We spotted the ocean at the head of the trail
Where are we going, so far away
And somebody told me that this is the place
Where everything's better, everything's safe
Walk on the ocean
Step on the stones
Flesh becomes water
Wood becomes bone
And half and hour later we packed up our things
We said we'd send letters and all those little things
And they knew we were lying but they smiled just the same
It seemed they'd already forgotten we'd came

Now we're back at the homestead
Where the air makes you choke
And people don't know you
And trust is a joke
We don't even have pictures
Just memories to hold
That grow sweeter each season
As we slowly grow old

"Walk On the Ocean"--Toad the Wet Sprocket

Growing Up

Jul. 31st, 2007 10:42 am
holly_evolving: (Default)
It's my dad's birthday today. He would have been 64.

I've changed a lot. I went through a really bad period, all the usual emotions. Sadness over losing him, feeling sorry for myself that he'd chosen to have the surgery, angry with my family for deciding to take him off life support, guilt that I didn't speak up. Guilt that I didn't stop him.

But then I realized something. I couldn't have stopped him. Nobody told me the risks of the surgery till he was dying. Nobody even told me he had colon cancer. He didn't know. He didn't tell me how sick he was, he just let me find out the hard way. I was angry with him for that for a long time, too.

I'm not anymore. I know, really know, that none of this was my fault. He was too proud to ask for help in time, but at the end, he tried. He did everything he could to try to take care of me, he just didn't know what to do. No one can blame him for that, and I don't anymore.

Happy Birthday, dear Daddy,
Happy Birthday to you

Profile

holly_evolving: (Default)
holly_evolving

December 2022

S M T W T F S
    123
45678910
11121314151617
18192021222324
2526 2728293031

Syndicate

RSS Atom

Most Popular Tags

Page Summary

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags

No cut tags
Page generated Jan. 28th, 2026 06:36 am
Powered by Dreamwidth Studios