An actual post

[holly_evolving]

So, I explained to Jay last night that I'm scared of moving in with him. It goes like this: once upon a time, I loved Craig and trusted him very much. Then, without warning, he dumped me and threw me out and I was homeless. Luckily for me, polyemtgirl and her man are very good people and they took me in. Still, it was incredibly traumatic for me, and it really rocked my faith in myself.

So now I've been with Jay for a year and a half, and I'm moving down here in July. Possibly sooner. And I love Jay and I trust him, and I don't forsee any problems. Just like before. I definitely WANT to move in with him, but this fear is real and I think only time will lessen it.

Jay is very understanding of this and all my other neuroses, and I'm really grateful for that.

I think I surprised him in that I understand that he is having some anxiety about it, too. For a little while now, he's lived on his own and done what he wanted with his home, and he didn't have to accommodate anyone. But before that, he had to build his life around what someone else wanted. I can imagine it must be very hard to have to go back to that, especially when the first time around ended badly.

I'm glad we're getting a two-bedroom place with an office. That way there's a room that's just his, and a room that's just mine, within a home that we have together. I think that's the best plan.

So that's where I'm at right now.

Comments

[alphafemale1.livejournal.com]

Sounds like you're both approaching this wisely, and making good choices. Good luck! We're here for you if you need it. :)

[demethos.livejournal.com]

I wish the two of you the best of luck, and hopefully things will work out for you this time.