(no subject)

[holly_evolving]

I'm depressed. Not like, I've been dealing with shit and it's hard and it's wearing me down...although that's true. The kind of depression I'm talking about is the kind where no matter how kind and supportive and positive anyone is, I just don't want anything. Not to be, not to do, not to have. I've been depressed my whole life, and person after person has tried to cheer me up and fix me. You know what? It's chemical. No one in the world is smart enough to fix that.

Craig gets it, I think. He's really good about it. He lets me know that he wants to help, and that he will if I ask him to. But he doesn't demand that I let him. Which is good, because as long as it's not hurting anyone else, I will continue to fail to give a shit about anything. If it interferes with the people around me in a harmful way, I'll go see a shrink. Till then, I am what I am. Deal. I don't want help. This is me. It's who I am.

Comments

[brown-eyedgrrl.livejournal.com]

I've been that way all my life too. I've gone to therapy. It helps some what, but particular events don't depress me, it's just the way my brain is wired.