(no subject)

[holly_evolving]

I'm depressed. Not like, I've been dealing with shit and it's hard and it's wearing me down...although that's true. The kind of depression I'm talking about is the kind where no matter how kind and supportive and positive anyone is, I just don't want anything. Not to be, not to do, not to have. I've been depressed my whole life, and person after person has tried to cheer me up and fix me. You know what? It's chemical. No one in the world is smart enough to fix that.

Craig gets it, I think. He's really good about it. He lets me know that he wants to help, and that he will if I ask him to. But he doesn't demand that I let him. Which is good, because as long as it's not hurting anyone else, I will continue to fail to give a shit about anything. If it interferes with the people around me in a harmful way, I'll go see a shrink. Till then, I am what I am. Deal. I don't want help. This is me. It's who I am.

Comments

[shushanna.livejournal.com]

I know how you feel. I'm the same way. I've been in and out of psychologists and psychiatrists most of my life for depression, and although I've taken various antidepressants for periods of time I usually go back off the drugs again. Like you said, it's best to accept yourself as you are and realize that you have surges of emotionally depressive horomones from time to time that you can't control, but that it doesn't invalidate your life. You are beautiful and irreplaceble.

[blackscyes.livejournal.com]

The long walk down the dark path provides little joy for one's self. You will turn and look back the way you have come, the way you are going, to the sky, and to the ground. All you see is gloom and the winds chills your flesh. The profound sense of being alone, trapped in one's self is ever present. You question aloud/quietly your life, your future, ....your self. Everything is moving/still as the maelstrom grows. I have lost/found myself here many times. I have turned to see nothing before my eyes, not even my hands. But for some strange reason I reached into the darkness and found others. Some would take my hand while others would simple be brushed by my fingertips. The more times I reached out, the stronger my trust that these Sentinels were there, Waiting, Watching, ....Loving. Your Sentinels; Shushanna, Eric, myself, many others, and....Craig are there standing fast, not to guard you but to embrace you when the feelings of Joy and Happiness wash over you again. Trust that the time spent in this place is short and profound. Trust that we are there (waiting patient and with compassion). Trust that You are Strong (as we know you are). trust.........

[brown-eyedgrrl.livejournal.com]

I've been that way all my life too. I've gone to therapy. It helps some what, but particular events don't depress me, it's just the way my brain is wired.