Renn Faire
Sep. 2nd, 2004 12:21 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
holly_evolvingWell, my costume's set. I'll be appearing as my Renn Faire, fantasy iteration of Lily Sinclaire, the incomparable, unconquerable H. M. of the H. M. S. Testosterone.
It looks damn hot.
In other news entirely, Craig told me today that one of his supervisors asked him "If you fuck a man in the ass, does that make you gay?" I have numerous reasons to have my own opinion on this. The one I choose to make known is this: I earned minors in both psych and gender studies (read: queer theory) along with my English B.A. What queer theory will tell you is that fucking a man in the ass does not make someone gay. The desire of one man for another man makes a man gay (in a gay/straight dichotomy). This is one angle on a many-faceted opinion of mine about a many-faceted topic.
Largely, my belief is this:
Assume that all people fall into the gay/straight dichotomy. Make straight all people who are cut-and-dry heteros, and gay everyone else. If you perform a sex act that is not by nature heterosexual, this does not make you gay. If you experience a desire that is by nature homosexual, then you are at least a little bit gay. I say again, this is my belief. I supplement my minor (which is really of minor significance) with years of field research (which is not). I've had sex with a few gay men who adored me, but didn't really enjoy the act beyond the physical sensation, and felt no physical attraction to me or any other woman. Those sex acts were by nature hetero, but the people performing them were not. Having sex with a woman didn't make them straight any more than having sex with a gay man made me a man. I define myself as bisexual, which I see as a facet of gay. But when Craig and I make love, though he is making love to a gay woman, he is not gay. He is physically attracted to women. I'm pretty much done with people who aren't Craig. This does not mean that I am straight. I still find women to be extremely attractive. I still find men to be extremely attractive. Hell, I just like people. But I don't like anyone more than Craig. I wondered for a bit if that meant I would have to redefine myself, and I find that it doesn't.
This wasn't meant to be a ramble about me, but about this: What we do does not define who we are. What we desire, what we love, defines us.
Platypus
It looks damn hot.
In other news entirely, Craig told me today that one of his supervisors asked him "If you fuck a man in the ass, does that make you gay?" I have numerous reasons to have my own opinion on this. The one I choose to make known is this: I earned minors in both psych and gender studies (read: queer theory) along with my English B.A. What queer theory will tell you is that fucking a man in the ass does not make someone gay. The desire of one man for another man makes a man gay (in a gay/straight dichotomy). This is one angle on a many-faceted opinion of mine about a many-faceted topic.
Largely, my belief is this:
Assume that all people fall into the gay/straight dichotomy. Make straight all people who are cut-and-dry heteros, and gay everyone else. If you perform a sex act that is not by nature heterosexual, this does not make you gay. If you experience a desire that is by nature homosexual, then you are at least a little bit gay. I say again, this is my belief. I supplement my minor (which is really of minor significance) with years of field research (which is not). I've had sex with a few gay men who adored me, but didn't really enjoy the act beyond the physical sensation, and felt no physical attraction to me or any other woman. Those sex acts were by nature hetero, but the people performing them were not. Having sex with a woman didn't make them straight any more than having sex with a gay man made me a man. I define myself as bisexual, which I see as a facet of gay. But when Craig and I make love, though he is making love to a gay woman, he is not gay. He is physically attracted to women. I'm pretty much done with people who aren't Craig. This does not mean that I am straight. I still find women to be extremely attractive. I still find men to be extremely attractive. Hell, I just like people. But I don't like anyone more than Craig. I wondered for a bit if that meant I would have to redefine myself, and I find that it doesn't.
This wasn't meant to be a ramble about me, but about this: What we do does not define who we are. What we desire, what we love, defines us.
Platypus
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Date: 2004-09-02 04:52 pm (UTC)