feelin crappy

Not finishing the beliefs post...I feel so rotten I will probably say something bad.

I didn't sleep much last night. I've been battling depression lately, and it really does feel like war. It's the weirdest thing; when things in my life are messed up, I'm fine. I can handle anything. But now, when there's nothing to complicate things, I have a good job, my boyfriend is great...it's like my body feels the need to generate a complication just so it feels normal.

Jason is a wonderful human being for putting up with the things he does. I'm glad I get to see him again this weekend.

My eyes hurt.

(no subject)

Crazy busy day at work. One of the drives to one of the server arrays burned out. This required people to adapt. They are bad at that. Thing should be settled tomorrow...but I bet the other account managers are going to bitch a lot about it at tomorrow morning's meeting, which has nothing to do with the issue since the meeting was scheduled last week.

I now have five accounts.

Feeling more normal. Had sushi for dinner & apple slices with chocolate for dessert. Rode the exercise bike for the first time. 2 sets of 100 calories each (it measures calories, distance, or time, or scans between the three. I find the calories only setting the most rewarding.) Did some more work toward my brother's metal swatch sample things. 1 label per chip, 24 chips to a swatch, 32 swatches to a box, 5 boxes to get paid. 160 swatches = $120. Swatches completed: 40. Tedious. Watched disc 3 of "Blue Planet," a BBC documentary about life in the ocean, narrated by David Attenborough. I detect a slight hint of irony & sarcasm in his speech that I never noticed when I was little, especially when he was talking about coral mating. Which involves sperm clouds for some species.

Giving up on King Arthur and His Knights, at least for now. Sir Thomas Malory's speech is a bit too far removed from my own for my current state of mind.

I am warm and sleepy.