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Sep. 28th, 2004 12:20 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
holly_evolvingIt's late. I'm tired. It's been a few days since I had any real alone time with Craig, and it's affecting my tolerance of--well, everything else.
Observations:
I went my whole life truly believing that I would never find anyone like me, and I was fine with that. Then I found him. That gaping hole in my heart was healed. And now he is sick and I can't spend much time with him, except for a bit of Florence Nightingaling. Leaving his house at 9 PM is worse than driving 4 hours alone ever was before him.
I pay $200 a month here, plus $90 a month to keep 85% of what I own in storage. I have a place to sleep and get my mail, and that's really it. I don't have a home. I am welcome in many places, but I have nowhere to belong. Except by Craig's side. Where I am not. I need a space to call my own.
Enough of this snivelling. I have the love of my life, and soon he'll be all better. Ganbatte.
Platypus
Observations:
I went my whole life truly believing that I would never find anyone like me, and I was fine with that. Then I found him. That gaping hole in my heart was healed. And now he is sick and I can't spend much time with him, except for a bit of Florence Nightingaling. Leaving his house at 9 PM is worse than driving 4 hours alone ever was before him.
I pay $200 a month here, plus $90 a month to keep 85% of what I own in storage. I have a place to sleep and get my mail, and that's really it. I don't have a home. I am welcome in many places, but I have nowhere to belong. Except by Craig's side. Where I am not. I need a space to call my own.
Enough of this snivelling. I have the love of my life, and soon he'll be all better. Ganbatte.
Platypus
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Date: 2004-09-28 05:52 am (UTC)Well, if you're ever in the New Brunswick area & need a place to crash for the night, my home is always open to you! :)
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Date: 2004-09-28 06:43 am (UTC)From what you have told me, you were longing for this and all I can say is you are lucky. To be with someone that makes you happy...not many people can say that, and in all the years I've known you, you haven't been this happy. Now I know that Craig is sick, but as you and I said, ganbatte. Ganbatte. Hope for the best.
As far as finding a place to belong, I really haven't found a place myself. I'm "different" from the rest of the people, and have been for 22 years, so I'm used to it...doesn't mean I like it, but I'm used to it, and have to deal with it. After JET, I either will stay here or go back to the states (or a phantom 3rd option: move somewhere else). And when I do move back to the states (or elsewhere), I have to find a place to live. Some of my belongings are in storage as well, but at this point, I can give up most of it...you know, lightening the load. Though, I do cherish my anime movies and DVD boxsets, and my mangas. Though in a way, I am beyond that. I only look at manga and anime primarily for "research" and to scope out my competition.
I no longer live in 80 Westfield Ave, Elizabeth, NJ...For now, Kokubuhommachi 7-3-12-301, Kashiwara-shi, Osaka-fu, Japan is my address. And I don't know if I will be here for the planned 3 years...I simply don't know. The thought of settling hasn't escaped me, yet it drifts away sporadically...it comes and goes.
It will happen eventually. For now, ganbatte. For me. For you. Ganbatte.
I'm off to bed. Kiotsukete ganbatte kudasai, Roretta-chan!!!