Realization

[holly_evolving]

I went without crying for a long time in my life. It surprised the hell out of me when I realized how much I mention crying in my recent entries. Things that don't seem important still can be, and I've gotten good at not seeing at least this one. I guess I missed it because it's not coloring my life. It only touches me when I specifically think about it. Used to be, if I was sad in one part of my life, it bled through the whole thing. Am I becoming more or less human?

I cried one happy tear last night. One. Which is still far more than I'm used to. I understand so much now. I understand my brother. I understand why everything that hurts me has been necessary.

I want to make peace with everything, at least in my own heart. I want to come into this clean and free. I just hope it's not too late.