I'm bothered

[holly_evolving]

I'm a curvy woman. A rollercoaster based on me might cause whiplash. I'm not 100% happy with every inch of myself, but I put effort into looking my best and I'm confident that I generally pull that off.

Skinny women don't bother me in the slightest. Now, if I suspect someone has an eating disorder, then I am concerned for her health. But I don't think that the skinny girl in the GAP billboard is solely responsible for her ailment. I mean, where are the parents while their daughter wastes away to nothing? Why didn't they teach her that her mind and soul were worth more than her visible ribs?

But that's a general bother. No, what's bothering me today is the way people attack skinny women. Of course they're not the ideal body type. But you know what? There isn't one. Everyone, everyone is beautiful to someone.

I see these posts around facebook that say "real women have curves" and it's all very affirming and positive...except to skinny women. It invalidates them. It says, "Because you are not shaped in the way I think is right, you are not a woman." And really, how is that any better than making fun of a fat girl?

Oh sure, RIGHT NOW, it's probably harmless. But what about the kids who grow up reading these things? Are they better off because they are going to die of an obesity-related heart attack than an anorexia-related heart attack? Of course not.

The trick to building self-esteem in women is to affirm ALL women, not to continue the cycle of competition and derision. Turning the tables doesn't solve anything, it just makes new victims.

Comments

[wolf-nd-shadows.livejournal.com]

This is actually part of a larger, disturbing trend where, at some point, we've decided to begin to see things in black-and-white, all-or-nothing trends. We've become so devoted developing simple rules to follow, we've lost the ability to work with subtleties and use skills of individual evaluation. Yes, anorexia is a serious problem, and yes, there is a problem with unrealistically thin physiques being pushed on women, but at the same time, there are some women who either have the active lifestyle, fast metabolism, or just the body type that predisposes them to be thin. Likewise, obesity is a real problem in america, and there are real health problems that are resulting from obesity, yet at the same time, some people have body types that are designed to be heavier and still be healthy. There shouldn't be an anything goes policy, but each person should find out what is the healthiest body type for them, and be allowed to live for that body type. There really aren't any quick and easy rules to healthy body types (with the exception of avoiding extremes) because there is so much genetic variation within the species (and genetic variation is a sign of a healthy population).

[sororbabylon.livejournal.com]

I really appreciate this post and agree 100%. We women need to stick together and stop finding ways to separate ourselves from one another with competition and backbiting. Thanks for making this post!

[thegreyeminence.livejournal.com]

My usual response to the “eat a sammich” crack is to ask if making fun of women's bodies is cool again — I still have my old “no fat chicks” shirt, and I've been dying to wear it again ever since weight jokes went out of fashion back in junior high. (For the record, I have never owned a “no fat chicks” T-shirt.)

If they respond at all, it's usually an attempt to weasel their way onto the moral high ground, which makes it all too easy:

“I'm only concerned for her well-being. Her weight is just unhealthy.”

“Same with the fat chicks. I like how we don't have to feel bad when we make them cry. Isn't that awesome?”

Same high horse, different saddle.