Unsolicited Hugs
Mar. 24th, 2010 10:33 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
holly_evolvingNow I know this may come as a surprise to some of you, but I don't like to be hugged unless I specifically invite it. It could be as simple as me raising my arms toward someone, but if I don't give the indicator first, then I don't want to be touched. I used to be a lot more cuddly than I am now. I've gotten old and crochety...and I know better than I used to.
So, my (least) favorite unsolicited hug ever...was at a Wicked Faire.
Now, WF is wonderful. WONDERFUL. It's this incredible community that feels like home for so many people, myself included. And yet. There is a kink factor to Wicked that I take absolutely no part in. I am vanilla. After the first Wicked, I asked Jeff if all the grown-up only vendors could be in one space, so people like me could avoid that space. Which provides the added benefit of people like me not being a downer to the people that do enjoy the grown-up things. So that's me and kink-aversion.
So at the third Wicked Faire, a fella comes up to me. He's wearing a lab coat. He asks if he can have a hug. "Sure," say I, thinking that what he wanted was a hug. Silly me. I give him his hug and immediately feel an unwelcome vibration below my waistline...he was wearing a vibrating rig of some kind. So I jumped back and said something akin to "Dude! Not cool!" and walked away. As far as I know, that's where the story ends. He never bothered me again, but I do point him out to my friends, to make sure they're aware of what they might be getting into if they hug him.
I don't like unsolicted hugs, and I don't like surprises. I like it least of all when they are combined. And surprise kink will just plain ruin my day.
So, my (least) favorite unsolicited hug ever...was at a Wicked Faire.
Now, WF is wonderful. WONDERFUL. It's this incredible community that feels like home for so many people, myself included. And yet. There is a kink factor to Wicked that I take absolutely no part in. I am vanilla. After the first Wicked, I asked Jeff if all the grown-up only vendors could be in one space, so people like me could avoid that space. Which provides the added benefit of people like me not being a downer to the people that do enjoy the grown-up things. So that's me and kink-aversion.
So at the third Wicked Faire, a fella comes up to me. He's wearing a lab coat. He asks if he can have a hug. "Sure," say I, thinking that what he wanted was a hug. Silly me. I give him his hug and immediately feel an unwelcome vibration below my waistline...he was wearing a vibrating rig of some kind. So I jumped back and said something akin to "Dude! Not cool!" and walked away. As far as I know, that's where the story ends. He never bothered me again, but I do point him out to my friends, to make sure they're aware of what they might be getting into if they hug him.
I don't like unsolicted hugs, and I don't like surprises. I like it least of all when they are combined. And surprise kink will just plain ruin my day.