Oh hai

Good grief. My job would be so much easier if other people would do their fucking jobs.

Brother got married over the weekend. It was pretty nice right up until my godmother talked about how great my dad was in an unsolicited dinner speech. Just...no. Mom, bro, and sis all hate my dad. Not appropriate, not okay. I spent the rest of dinner keeping godmother's attention on me so she would leave the rest of my family alone. Did the same thing at breakfast. Trying real hard to feel celebratey but that keeps poisoning it.

I should get back to collecting my essays for the next book. Out of steam. But Steve's mailing a copy of my poems to a friend who can't afford it so that's awesome in a few ways.

Slept like shite. It's gonna take me a while to decompress from that.

Oh yeah meds

Meds didn't happen.

Current theory is that this is hormones. I don't feel like I'm going to die anymore. I am still experiencing executive function problems. Example: I should call my gyno and chase down this hormone theory. Don't wanna. Haven't.

I'm surviving and I haven't exploded since December.

GP gave me Brintellix, which joins Cymbalta and Lexapro on the list of meds that give me serotonin syndrome. Sick of finding shit out the hard way.

Also work

Work is better. Found my stride again. It's all stupid and evil but I've hit that don't-care mindset that is required to survive customer service. I can deal with it till something better comes along.

I applied for a QA analyst post in my company but it went to the other applicant. Hiring mgr said I was really strong but she just has more Excel experience. So that's a concrete thing I can work on. Also now her post is vacant and it's excel heavy so I applied for that. There are quite a few more applicants, though. So the odds aren't in my favor but I will keep on trying.

I hate talking on the phone.