The name game

If you call me:

Loretta--you know my name.
Sweet Loretta--you're Bill from work and I want to smack you.
Lori--you think I'm my mother. And I want to smack you.
Retta--you think I'm 13. And I want to smack you.
Rett--you're related to me. Or I want to smack you.
Lorella--you're my brother-in-law. Or I want to smack you.
Alikzia--we're at Realms and I'm a Rakkarin.
Tristan--we're at Realms and I'm a deep elf.
Shelly--we're at Realms and I'm in a scary doll dress.
Mistress--we're at Realms, I'm a deep elf, and you're Kardack. Or I want to smack you.
Catherine--we're at a Faire.
Lady Catherine--we're at a Faire and you're not paying attention.
Killer--you're Marc.
Kiddo, Squirt, Speedy Delivery--you're my mom. Or I want to smack you.
Dorkbrain or D.B--you're my brother. And I want to smack you.

But I'm not violent.

So, what did I miss?

Platypus

OMFG

I met a girl. I'm in total shock.

Disbelief phase 1: You're that cute and you're gay?
Disbelief phase 2: You're that cute and you like me?

Her name is Velmon.

This is going to be a good day.

Platypus