sobriety=good
Dec. 26th, 2006 01:01 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
holly_evolvingWell, had the family madness today that I was expecting. Got some very nice presents. Will be nice to not be poor someday so I can give everything I want to.
My niece got all overstimulated and wouldn't fall asleep--until. I took her up to my mom's room, dimmed the lights, snuggled down with her and sang Scarborough Faire. She was out cold halfway through the second time singing it. So I made a bank of pillows around her and checked on her every few minutes. She slept till she left.
I took a nap from 5PM-7:30, thanks to Ron's mimosa.
Spent some time talking to Don/Kegger/Papa Bear/Craig's knight, which really helped me to perk up. Sorted out a lot of why I'm so stressed. Yes, I love Craig. But what's really causing the problem is that he's freezing me out completely. In a normal situation, that would be fine. But our situation is not normal. We have all the same friends, and he's my house brother. His behavior around our friends leads me to believe that he will be awkward and avoidant at household functions, if he shows up at all. And if he doesn't because of me, well, then there are problems there because he has commitments to keep--like his responsibilities as Kegger's squire. And the cooking demo/competition he's supposed to be doing with Matteo at West Windsor. If these things fall apart because he's trying to avoid me...well, it won't be a good thing. What will result, I don't know. But it won't be me he'll be hurting--it'll be our household. And I don't want that kind of behavior blamed on me. Did I mess up and try to talk to him about something serious at an inappropriate place? Yes I did. And I apologized. I've been doing what I feel is reasonable from me in order to maintain a friendly relationship. Refusing to even talk to me or look at me is immature and will ultimately hurt our house; more importantly, it's making things difficult for our mutual friends.
But you know what? I'm actually pretty happy. Now if only I could find someone who worked well with me as a person and had Craig's charisma, I'd be all set. Yes I am ready. I'm built to be in love, what can I say? Right time, right place. But I am going to be DAMN careful about making sure it's the right person before I do or say ANYTHING. I will NOT make the same mistake twice. I believe in love at first sight, but I will never trust it again.
Merry Light Bulb Day!
My niece got all overstimulated and wouldn't fall asleep--until. I took her up to my mom's room, dimmed the lights, snuggled down with her and sang Scarborough Faire. She was out cold halfway through the second time singing it. So I made a bank of pillows around her and checked on her every few minutes. She slept till she left.
I took a nap from 5PM-7:30, thanks to Ron's mimosa.
Spent some time talking to Don/Kegger/Papa Bear/Craig's knight, which really helped me to perk up. Sorted out a lot of why I'm so stressed. Yes, I love Craig. But what's really causing the problem is that he's freezing me out completely. In a normal situation, that would be fine. But our situation is not normal. We have all the same friends, and he's my house brother. His behavior around our friends leads me to believe that he will be awkward and avoidant at household functions, if he shows up at all. And if he doesn't because of me, well, then there are problems there because he has commitments to keep--like his responsibilities as Kegger's squire. And the cooking demo/competition he's supposed to be doing with Matteo at West Windsor. If these things fall apart because he's trying to avoid me...well, it won't be a good thing. What will result, I don't know. But it won't be me he'll be hurting--it'll be our household. And I don't want that kind of behavior blamed on me. Did I mess up and try to talk to him about something serious at an inappropriate place? Yes I did. And I apologized. I've been doing what I feel is reasonable from me in order to maintain a friendly relationship. Refusing to even talk to me or look at me is immature and will ultimately hurt our house; more importantly, it's making things difficult for our mutual friends.
But you know what? I'm actually pretty happy. Now if only I could find someone who worked well with me as a person and had Craig's charisma, I'd be all set. Yes I am ready. I'm built to be in love, what can I say? Right time, right place. But I am going to be DAMN careful about making sure it's the right person before I do or say ANYTHING. I will NOT make the same mistake twice. I believe in love at first sight, but I will never trust it again.
Merry Light Bulb Day!