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Jul. 5th, 2005 02:11 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
holly_evolvingThings I Am Not Allowed To Do At Hogwarts
(inspired by 213 things Skippy can no longer do in the US Army.)
by![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
atalantapendrag
1."Y'all check this-here shit out!" is not an appropriate way to announce that you are about to perform an experimental spell.
2.A time turner is not a flux capacitator, and I should therefore not install one in any Muggle cars.
3.A wand is for magic only, it is not for picking noses, playing snooker, or drumming on desks, no matter how bored I become.
4.I am not allowed to claim Draco Malfoy is suffering from 'blue balls'-- not even if I loaded his jock with woad.
5.I do not weigh the same as a duck.
6.I will not attempt to set up a mobile phone mast on the Astronomy Tower.
7.I will not claim Chick Tracts are an accurate presentation of Muggle life.
8.I will not place anything by Silver Ravenwolf on the library shelves.
9.I will not refer to the Slytherin dorms as "the Tremere Chantry."
10.Not allowed to lock Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy in a closet to see if hot gay sex will occur.
11.The Giant Squid is not to be referred to as "my Lord Cthulhu," nor am I allowed to sacrifice first years to it on the new moon.
12.The Head Girl and Head Boy do not perform sexual favors.
13.There is no such thing as a "saving throw vs. detention".
14.Tricking a school house elf into stripping does not mean that they are now mine, even if I yell "Pwned!".
...and that's just the tip of the proverbial iceberg.
NOTE: Entries in this post originally byatalantapendrag
(inspired by 213 things Skippy can no longer do in the US Army.)
by
atalantapendrag1."Y'all check this-here shit out!" is not an appropriate way to announce that you are about to perform an experimental spell.
2.A time turner is not a flux capacitator, and I should therefore not install one in any Muggle cars.
3.A wand is for magic only, it is not for picking noses, playing snooker, or drumming on desks, no matter how bored I become.
4.I am not allowed to claim Draco Malfoy is suffering from 'blue balls'-- not even if I loaded his jock with woad.
5.I do not weigh the same as a duck.
6.I will not attempt to set up a mobile phone mast on the Astronomy Tower.
7.I will not claim Chick Tracts are an accurate presentation of Muggle life.
8.I will not place anything by Silver Ravenwolf on the library shelves.
9.I will not refer to the Slytherin dorms as "the Tremere Chantry."
10.Not allowed to lock Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy in a closet to see if hot gay sex will occur.
11.The Giant Squid is not to be referred to as "my Lord Cthulhu," nor am I allowed to sacrifice first years to it on the new moon.
12.The Head Girl and Head Boy do not perform sexual favors.
13.There is no such thing as a "saving throw vs. detention".
14.Tricking a school house elf into stripping does not mean that they are now mine, even if I yell "Pwned!".
...and that's just the tip of the proverbial iceberg.
NOTE: Entries in this post originally by
atalantapendrag