Yoinked from kiltwearncowboy

[holly_evolving]

You might be a stickjock if...
* you buy a TOWN out of rivets.
* you can describe the tactics, strategy, weapons, armor and troops used in hundreds of medieval battles, but don't know why they were fought.
* you can open a beer bottle with a claymore.
* the clatter of dropped kitchenware has had you looking for an unseen opponent.
* you show up for work on Monday with the most interesting bruises. (Or possibly a chain mail weave sunburn).
* after you learn that your friend has only one kidney (born that way, apparently), your second thought (after "that's weird") relates to fixing her armor.
* you mash your thumb with a hammer and cry out "Light!"
* you get chain mail as a wedding present.
* a man says "Whoa! Nice legs! Hubba hubba!" and he's talking about your armor.
* you mutter "What a waste" every time you see rattan lawn furniture.
* you rattle when you walk, because you're wearing a mail shirt under your shirt.
* street signs look like armor trees, round shields, war shields...
* the crowd of ladies you are escorting to the shopping mall are heading to the wrong door you shout SHIFT LEFT! SHIFT LEFT!
* you're bruised black and blue every Monday morning.... and you enjoyed getting that way.
* you pick up the trash bin lid and automatically snap it up to a defensive position.
* you're wearing chainmail to the office hidden under your jumper because you need to get used to moving round in it.
* you sneer at sword fights in films because any fool can tell they're not within striking distance of their opponents.
* you're in the front row of the company staff photograph and tell your neighbor to dress the line.
* dessert is served in stainless steel dishes and you start speculating on how easy they would be to beat into shield bosses.
* you used to have a wok, but now you've got a spangenhelm.
* you were asked to find a broom handle to work a jack with and couldn't find a broom but came back with a longaxe and a spear.
* you can't raise your arms above horizontal on a Monday morning.
* you're daft enough to lock the keys in your van, but you managed to pry a window open with your sword.
* you consider a blue card and an authorization card two pieces of documentation.
* you consider Arts and Sciences a weekend off between lists.
* you're parking your friend's car, and (being extremely nervous) he shouts "HOLD!" as you're backing up... And you hit the brakes.
* you find yourself incapable of small hand motions and can only move your whole arm, or at best, wrist flicks.
* [you`re female and] "You're so aggressive!" is a compliment!
* you see a beautiful member of the opposite sex sitting on a Rattan seat and you realize that you are staring. At the chair.
* someone mentions research and you say "Why? School's out right now".
* you would rather pack your halbard and your pike instead of food on your way to war.
* you are cleaning up after an event and all that you can think of is how great this aluminum table edging would be on a shield. And for that matter, drop the legs and put on a handle, it's good light plywood, well reinforced, a little on the large side but maybe for war...
* you slow down on the highways when there's no traffic because you`re looking for a new shield boss.
* you get your van stuck in a bog, but escape by unloading the shields and driving out over them
* after an event, while getting dressed in mundanes, you don your swordbelt and weapons.
* you ask the guy at the Welder's Supply store for 16 gauge steel wire for chainmail and he gives you a blank looks and asks, "What's chainmail?"
* your sweatpants have holes in the knees and rust stains, because you wore your armor over/under them.
* you answer "What are you doing with all that wire?" with "I'm knitting a skirt."
* you receive a Tandy Leather sales flier in the mail, and don't think twice about the fact that the leather therein is being advertised as "perfect for regulation SCA combat".
* there are leg armor and vambraces baking in your oven. (To make sure the wax really penetrates)
* you've ruined your deep fat fryer using it to melt wax.