holly_evolving (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
holly_evolving) wrote2004-06-21 12:49 pm
holly_evolving) wrote2004-06-21 12:49 pm
Gah!
I really shouldn't read the Church of Rock boards anymore. I keep finding things that make me want to fight. I really hope what I read wasn't about me, but I have the sneaking suspicion that it was. Which would be ludicrous, as there was nothing relating to me anywhere earlier in the post. I'm letting paranoia rule, but if I can just get it out, maybe I can let it go.
That said, when I roleplay:
I usually play a character based on one of the many characters in my head. I act in order to exorcise my demons(the ones internal to me, not my friends)and to become people I could never be in the real world. These characters are not likely to have moral codes or emotional makeups even remotely similar to my own. I do NOT play myself. And here I think I just read someone who doesn't know me--has never met me out of character--criticize my ability to separate myself from my character...and in discussing an event that I was not present for!
Of course, it could just be me being paranoid. I have ceased, by and large, to trust Mystic Realms and anything connected to it. There are exceptions, and they appear in what some might call unlikely places, but they are there and they make sense to me. This does NOT stem from a reaction to the sex post; rather, it stems from the events that led up to the sex post in the first place. I am angry. I see a wrong thing that I am powerless to change. I see a world that I want to be a part of, at least behind the scenes, enjoyed by people that I do not like and do not wish to entertain. This is not all of them, but a vocal minority. MY enjoyment of Mystic Realms is in the planning and creation, not the execution. And now I am very tired of the people who benefit from my planning and my creating. There are the people I do it for and the people I don't do it for, and I have reached the point where the latter is louder in my heart than the former. It is time to stop. Mystic Realms has served its purpose in my life, and it's time for me to walk away. I've met everyone I needed to meet. I like as many people as I'm going to. This game and I were never more than the sort of friends girls have in high school, and now it's time for these friends to part.
*reaches inside and plucks a weed from her heart. throws it aside and keeps on walking.*
That said, when I roleplay:
I usually play a character based on one of the many characters in my head. I act in order to exorcise my demons(the ones internal to me, not my friends)and to become people I could never be in the real world. These characters are not likely to have moral codes or emotional makeups even remotely similar to my own. I do NOT play myself. And here I think I just read someone who doesn't know me--has never met me out of character--criticize my ability to separate myself from my character...and in discussing an event that I was not present for!
Of course, it could just be me being paranoid. I have ceased, by and large, to trust Mystic Realms and anything connected to it. There are exceptions, and they appear in what some might call unlikely places, but they are there and they make sense to me. This does NOT stem from a reaction to the sex post; rather, it stems from the events that led up to the sex post in the first place. I am angry. I see a wrong thing that I am powerless to change. I see a world that I want to be a part of, at least behind the scenes, enjoyed by people that I do not like and do not wish to entertain. This is not all of them, but a vocal minority. MY enjoyment of Mystic Realms is in the planning and creation, not the execution. And now I am very tired of the people who benefit from my planning and my creating. There are the people I do it for and the people I don't do it for, and I have reached the point where the latter is louder in my heart than the former. It is time to stop. Mystic Realms has served its purpose in my life, and it's time for me to walk away. I've met everyone I needed to meet. I like as many people as I'm going to. This game and I were never more than the sort of friends girls have in high school, and now it's time for these friends to part.
*reaches inside and plucks a weed from her heart. throws it aside and keeps on walking.*
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