A final reaction to the Church of Rock Board postings, since I missed the cutoff:

[holly_evolving]

1) None of this was about Fred. He wasn't the original offender.

2) Of course I want attention. If people don't, then why would they speak up?

3) Don't blame me for your own curiosity. Channel surfers don't get to read the title and author of the show before they see it. Nor do many of them have the chance to state their complaints in a forum where their opinion is granted the same validity as said author.

4) I do not in any way consider "slut" to be an insult. Not after the last few months.

5) I do think many people at Mystic Realms are EXTREMELY inhibited, and I hope I did make some of them uncomfortable.

6) I have strong opinions on underage players at Mystic Realms. They are not nice ones.

7) I think I made some people think. As a result, no matter how much insults are thrown at me, I'm happy with how this all turned out.

8) I learned a few things. I had some fun. I am not angry or hurt, as the people who had something nasty to say are the same people who always have something nasty to say. I am simply very amused.

9) My morality is different from most people's. But I'm not trying to make anyone live the way I do.

10) Kevin was never one of my pets. The term "pet," as I use it, refers to someone with whom I have mutual cuddle priveledges (and nothing more!). The term "puppies" is an old term from a rant of mine on the Panther Boards entitled "Why Men Suck" (which was a follow-up to my "Why Women Suck.") "Puppies" are people who follow someone around begging for a moment of their attention. Kevin was never that either.

---I generated four pages of discourse. Not all of it was good, but some of it was. There are political leaders who can't even say that.---

Comments

[whineofjudgment.livejournal.com]

>5) I do think many people at Mystic Realms are EXTREMELY inhibited, and I hope I did make some of them uncomfortable.

I'm sorry, but that strikes me as a bit childish. You and I have had this exact discussion before, and this is the total opposite of what we both concluded. I'm all for experimenting with stuff, that's well known. But it's not your job or anyone else's to try to expand anyone's mind who doesn't want/isn't ready for it. I understand you were responding to something and not initiating discussion, at least at first - however, taking the discussion to an open public forum is a far cry from the more limited venue where it began. Doing so moves it out of the realm of self-defense and into the realm of public discourse, and in that forum in particular, like it or not it is not an appropriate discussion to have and you knew that in advance. There are many other outlets - I suppose this being one of them - where you could have and indeed even did express the same sentiments and generated the same sort of discussion, without involving other people whom it was inappropriate to discuss the matter in front of.

Making people uncomfortable, especially in an isolated and inflammatory context, is not an effective means of social change, and it is a sign of a rather immature attitude to feel that way. In fact, it encourages a reactionary response that often hardens peoples' opinions and makes them more likely to reject the topic being discussed. History shows that if it is not part of a continued, progressive series of actions and discussions, it will accomplish little except recruit a few borderline folks and make the majority that much more opposed to the cause. This is the difference between the Civil Rights movement and extremist groups like the KKK. One was an ongoing process involving many different parts of society working together over the course of a number of years to achieve a variety of political and cultural goals, while the other intermittently commits crimes and holds rallies that attract some fringe converts but mostly only serve to harden resistence and dislike of the Klan in the mind of society at large.

>9) My morality is different from most people's. But I'm not trying to make anyone live the way I do.

Again, this statement seems at cross-purposes with the previous statement and several others - while you are indeed not forcing anyone to live the way your do or share your morality, at the same time you profess that you are glad to have made people uncomfortable, because you believe they are inhibited. And you hope that the discussion has changed peoples' minds or at least made them think. That's splitting a very fine rhetorical hair, and personally I feel you should know better. You were hit first, fine, you're entitled to some self-defense. But you have the background and the training to know that taking it to an unrelated, inappropriate venue and making it a matter of public discourse is not a way to generate a positive discussion, it's just going to fuel a flame war on both sides at best or contribute to lasting dislike at worst.

And even if you're content with that outcome, and that's your perogative too, I think it's still extremely poor taste to involve the public at large as well. Channel surfers may not know exactly what they're going to see when they flip around, but until the prophecies of the Simpsons come true, they're not expecting unedited NC-17 or even R-rated material on network television either.

No anger here, just a vague sense of disappointment all around. Sorry if that is just as offensive, it isn't the intent, just the truth.

[holly-evolving.livejournal.com]

"Sorry if that is just as offensive, it isn't the intent, just the truth."
--Apologizing for your opinion...doesn't sound like you. You don't need to apologize when you disagree with me.

">5) I do think many people at Mystic Realms are EXTREMELY inhibited, and I hope I did make some of them uncomfortable.

I'm sorry, but that strikes me as a bit childish."
--You're right. And I felt childish and I acted on what I felt. Am I the least bit sorry? No. I know I'm not going to teach anyone anything that way...but I'm not going to teach anyone anything unless they want to learn. And I've become very cynical about the people at MR. I've ceased caring.

"I understand you were responding to something and not initiating discussion, at least at first"
--And I wonder if the initiator got the same response when they directly attacked me in the same forum...which did happen, about a year ago.

"And you hope that the discussion has changed peoples' minds or at least made them think."
--Hope and expect are not the same thing.

"You were hit first, fine, you're entitled to some self-defense."--I'm glad there are people who recognize that, at least.
"Channel surfers may not know exactly what they're going to see when they flip around"--But people who specifically dislike me and don't wish to hear from me saw my name attached to the post and read it anyway. People who aren't sure who I am have plenty of reason to be surprised at what they read. Anyone who was offended at the content of the post are justified in their feelings. But people who know who I am, read it anyway, and then were angry with ME for saying something they didn't want me to say--no. They had plenty of warning when they saw my name and they chose to open that link.

I didn't expect that thread to go the way it did. I was pissed off, and I posted what I was pissed off about on the rant board. As people do. My opening post wasn't graphic--I've seen more detail in a junior high sex ed class--and the only expletive was something along the lines of "So why the fuck does anyone care?" And that question was never answered.

If you're offended, be offended. Angry, disappointed, whatever, just be. Don't apologize. After all, I don't apologize for being disappointed in all the people who don't talk about having been involved with me, or all the people who do exactly what I do but won't talk about that. That wouldn't even be the case, either, if I hadn't already been under attack before I posted something about it, with no one that I know of defending me or even standing by me. If anyone did, I never knew about it. And at least now my detractors have a legitimate reason.

I've gotten phone calls from a few people saying "I'm on your side, but I won't publicly admit it." I am not in the least bit grateful. My gratitude is reserved for people like Amy who openly stand with me.

Wow, just a minor redirection here---well, I'm done with my initial response anyway.