holly_evolving (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
holly_evolving) wrote2004-01-22 07:35 am
holly_evolving) wrote2004-01-22 07:35 am
Que Sera Sera
I could rant and refute all the bullshit being said about me, but why bother? To each person, other people are just players in our own personal stories. Someone has to be the villain of the piece, and most people can't deal with being the villain in their own. So fine. I'm scary enough already for some reason that I'm easier to deal with if I'm bad. But please, look at the scale of what I've done and ask yourself, was it that bad?
There is one thing I will talk about. I'm fine with whatever is said about me--well, not fine, but I can accept it. But I refuse to drag anyone else down with me. Marc is innocent. I don't think he's my soulmate and I'm not in love with him. I don't want to be with him or anyone else. He simply woke me up. If anyone wants to blame him for anything, they can blame him for unwittingly showing me what a soulless husk I was becoming.
People also need to realize that no one gets to choose who I turn to for help in dealing with the fact that I might have cancer, or that my sister does. I can't help who actually makes me feel better, and I certainly have never owed it to anyone to pretend.
This poor dog. I come home at 6:30 this morning to Frankie hopping up on me. I have no idea how long he's been left alone. Probably no more than twelve hours, but still. I am not the one responsible for him or his happiness. I hate to think what will happen to the bond between him and his master if I feed and walk him too many times. Then again, I value the human-animal bond more than the human-human bond. Animals can't hide their desires, so they don't. This poor little creature needs companionship far more regularly than he's getting it. Little thing's just sitting by my side as I type this. That's a bad sign.
It's odd. I have so much to accomplish before 2:00 when I drive Fred to court, but I can't start any of it yet because of how early it is. I'm in desperate need of an oil change, and I have to talk to a clinician at Planned Parenthood to switch my pill prescription. My life is too hectic to be on a pill that I have to take at the same time every day.
David Witchell still hasn't reissued the paycheck from December 20th. That's $300 that I could really use right about now.
I think I'll wait till 10:00 before I get started today, spend some time keeping the puppy company.
Platypus
There is one thing I will talk about. I'm fine with whatever is said about me--well, not fine, but I can accept it. But I refuse to drag anyone else down with me. Marc is innocent. I don't think he's my soulmate and I'm not in love with him. I don't want to be with him or anyone else. He simply woke me up. If anyone wants to blame him for anything, they can blame him for unwittingly showing me what a soulless husk I was becoming.
People also need to realize that no one gets to choose who I turn to for help in dealing with the fact that I might have cancer, or that my sister does. I can't help who actually makes me feel better, and I certainly have never owed it to anyone to pretend.
This poor dog. I come home at 6:30 this morning to Frankie hopping up on me. I have no idea how long he's been left alone. Probably no more than twelve hours, but still. I am not the one responsible for him or his happiness. I hate to think what will happen to the bond between him and his master if I feed and walk him too many times. Then again, I value the human-animal bond more than the human-human bond. Animals can't hide their desires, so they don't. This poor little creature needs companionship far more regularly than he's getting it. Little thing's just sitting by my side as I type this. That's a bad sign.
It's odd. I have so much to accomplish before 2:00 when I drive Fred to court, but I can't start any of it yet because of how early it is. I'm in desperate need of an oil change, and I have to talk to a clinician at Planned Parenthood to switch my pill prescription. My life is too hectic to be on a pill that I have to take at the same time every day.
David Witchell still hasn't reissued the paycheck from December 20th. That's $300 that I could really use right about now.
I think I'll wait till 10:00 before I get started today, spend some time keeping the puppy company.
Platypus